Silence is golden, and just as rare.

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On Friday I took a day out for silent retreat down at Ashburnham. I encountered the Lord in the car going down and experienced a rich fellowship with him throughout the day. I began the journey in the car by imagining the Lord in the passenger seat next to me. I was intent on paying attention to what he was doing, how he was sitting, where his focus was, etc. Initially he looked slouched and almost ready for a nap. He made some comment about taking the wheel whenever I was ready, which made me laugh. I told him of the tension I was carrying in my body and the fact that my thoughts were all over the place. He suggested we do some breathing together. I thought ‘ok, I’ll focus just on driving and following Jesus’ breathing, and think of nothing else for at least three minutes.

Fail 

I could barely go two breaths without slipping into thoughts of something else.
I could not immerse in the process.
So the Lord said. ‘Count to 100 breaths as we do this.’ 
The added mental necessity of counting stopped me from thinking of other things for much longer. No, I didn’t fall asleep, but by the time I reached 100, 30 minutes had passed of focussed attention on the Lord and on counting my breathing and I felt utterly different. Both my mind and my body were relaxed. 

That was the start of a great day of just enjoying fellowship with the Lord in silence, nature, meditations, and the occasional conversational exchange. 

I determined not to seek the Lord for answers, but to just enjoy him for himself. 
As I walked around the lake I repeated prayed a heartbeat prayer: ‘LORD....SOFTEN...MY...HEART.’  

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.”
‭‭PSALMS‬ ‭139:23-24‬ ‭NASB‬‬

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